Seeking Excellence
Politics • Spirituality/Belief • Lifestyle
What Is the Real Value of Stay-at-Home Moms?
Addressing the extremes of what society claims this vocation is worth
October 23, 2025
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According to Investopedia, the real income of a stay-at-home parent exceeds $200,000. But is that based on reality? 

For context, my wife stays home full-time with our children. We are very pro-stay-at-home moms around here—that should already be well known. 

However, I am very opposed to skewing the numbers to make a financial point. The Investopedia article does precisely that. I have two significant issues with it. 

First, it’s simply dishonest (which I’ll explain in a moment) and therefore unhelpful for those trying to decide whether to have a parent stay home full-time.

The second issue is that the article is materialistic in nature, focusing primarily on a financial argument for a decision that is fundamentally human, formative, vocational, and, for many, spiritual. It prioritizes money over the two most valuable aspects of having a stay-at-home parent, both of which are priceless.

Let’s address the dishonesty first. As you can see in the screenshot below, the article accurately assigns national average costs to the general work done by a stay-at-home parent.

 

 

This part is true: that's what you'd pay individuals to do those tasks. The problem, though, is that only the top 1% of society actually hires people to do that work. My wife doesn’t save us money by doing our laundry, cooking our meals, cleaning the house, or driving the kids around.

Why? Because if we both worked, we wouldn’t pay anyone to do those things. In most dual-income households, people end up doing all that work ON TOP OF their full-time jobs. Full-time working and parenting is an absolute grind, there’s no doubt about it.

My wife does save us money on childcare, but it doesn’t come anywhere near $130k per year for two children, unless I were hiring private trilingual tutors at the highest end of the cost spectrum.

Some two-income households have family members watch their children or other arrangements that cost $1,000 a month or less, so the $130k price tag to cover 14 hours of childcare per day is just absurd.

Now, I understand why people do this. It’s an extreme reaction to society’s growing distaste for traditional family values. When the world rejects the value of motherhood, we try to amplify it using the one measure the world respects most: money.

But money isn’t the best way to measure the value of the stay-at-home parent lifestyle and their contribution to the family. My wife would be the first to tell you that the most valuable part is the extra time she gets to spend with our kids.

By the time our children are 5, Emily will have had almost an extra 10,000 hours with them that she'd otherwise have missed out on. That has a massive impact on their character formation, familial bond, and education.

What’s in it for me, the provider? Besides the satisfaction of those extra 10,000 hours for my wife and kids, it’s the massive increase in leisure time I get because someone is managing the home full-time.

No, this doesn't mean I never help out around the house. But I don’t have to split cooking meals, doing laundry, and many other chores because she handles the majority of them while I’m working.

Then, when I come home, I'm able to enjoy the meal she's prepared and take over the kids for a couple of hours before we tag-team bedtime. I get to play with the kids every evening instead of washing dishes or cleaning the house. It’s a win-win: she gets her much-needed break from the children, and I get my precious time with

them.

That said, becoming a one-income household is definitely a financial decision. The problem with Investopedia’s math is that it distorts the financial bar of entry. 

Most approach the financial

aspect of one parent leaving their job

through a simple equation:

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"My daughter was really offended by your talk last night." 😅

"My daughter was really offended by your talk last night."

Someone dropped this bomb on me unexpectedly after daily mass this past summer. Although I can sometimes be a bit dicey and bold in my presentations, I was pretty shocked to hear it.

I had given a talk to middle schoolers the night prior on how our faith can help us in managing sadness, anxiety, and stress.

After mass the next day, I was walking in the convention center and was stopped by a woman who asked if I spoke to the middle schoolers the night prior. I responded in the affirmative.

"My daughter was really offended by your talk."

In a flash, I try to recall what I said that might have been the trigger for offense. Nothing came to mind. So I inquired, "Interesting. What was it that bothered her?"

"She said that you told the kids that if you experience anxiety, you can essentially pray it all away. And she has been clinically diagnosed with severe anxiety so it upset her."

"AH okay, I see the misunderstanding here" I ...

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Yesterday, we lost a legend in the Christian movement in our country and world.

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I encourage you to battle the temptation to hate or become cowardly in the face of hate. More than ever, we need love and courage to guide our words and actions.

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The Truth About Being a Stay-at-Home-Mom

We’ve glamorized hustle culture to the point where raising your own kids is seen as a “waste of potential.”

Here’s the truth: there’s nothing more valuable than being present in your child’s life.

Stay-at-home moms are often undervalued because their worth can’t be measured by a paycheck. But we should stop asking what the role is worth — and start asking what the absence of that role costs.

If you’re building a home, raising children, and forming the next generation with intentionality — you’re not “just a mom.” You’re leading a mission far more important than any title or salary could reflect.

No more fat generals

When I was in the Army, I wanted to be held to high standards. I didn't join the military to be mediocre, politically correct, and to add diversity and inclusivity.

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I went to Ranger School to see what I was fully capable of.

I wanted to go to the 82nd Airborne Division and lead a platoon into a combat deployment because of the tradition of excellence in that organization.

Even then, many soldiers joined the military as an escape. It provided them with financial opportunity and a career when they were aimless or struggling in some way.

This can be a good thing. One need not be a die hard patriot with high standards for themselves to join the military, because the culture is one of patriotism and high standards and it has a natural ability to shape you in that culture.

Removing you from your familiar surroundings and lifestyle to immerse you in the military culture has transformed wayward individuals for 250 years.

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We're being lied to about this aspect of the cost of living

I graduated from college with about $300 in my bank account - and I needed to buy about $1,500 worth of equipment just to get started in the Army.

I had to take out a loan to buy what I needed. I now had this on top of my student loans from my freshman year of college before I got my ROTC scholarship.

My net worth at this point was now solidly in the negatives. Over time, this started to slowly change.

My several months at US Army Ranger School gave me a great chance to save up and erase the debt after I graduated.

Throughout my time in the Army, I spent more and more time learning about how to be financially responsible.

After witnessing financial recklessness at home throughout my childhood, I was committed to creating and executing a plan toward financial peace.

In my post-Army years, I've had many unexpected twists and turns. I took a 60% pay cut to take a job closer to my girlfriend (now wife).

I have a stay at home wife now, which is something I would have NEVER predicted. Living on...

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I had the privilege of sitting down with Dr. Dan Schneider on the latest episode of the podcast. Dr. Dan is a theology professor, author, former U.S. Army helicopter pilot and Gulf War veteran, and an active member of the Catholic evangelization and exorcism ministry. 

In this episode, Dr. Dan shares his insights on the spiritual battles we face both personally and within the Church. We also dive into his thoughts on Pete Hegseth's recent talk and more.

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3 Things You Can Do To Help Save America
Ps. Most people don't want to do them

Do you ever tire of the constant doomsday fear-mongering that happens in the political commentator space? I used to listen to the Daily Wire every day. I went from listening to Ben Shapiro to Matt Walsh and back to Ben. I loved getting Dave Rubin’s take on certain issues and I even have to admit with great shame that I used to enjoy listening to Steven Crowder. 

 

Over time, I got sick of the constant negativity. I was bored with the persistent anger, and sometimes borderline hatred, for those who held different opinions. Now, I can certainly get infuriated by the people who promote abortion or those of the LGBTQ community who prey on young, innocent children. There is undoubtedly a time and place for righteous anger. But I knew that dwelling on these things every afternoon was neither good for my mental nor spiritual health. 

 

I took a step back and I was lucky to find a new podcast to listen to:  The PBD Podcast. I love Patrick Bet-David. He’s an American-loving, capitalism-promoting, super-successful immigrant, Christian, Army veteran. It’s easy to see how he’s my kind of guy. PBD chose a motto for the year and has been putting it on merch all over his website. He came up with the tagline “The Future Looks Bright” to remind conservatives that we can still have hope for the days ahead. 

 

My podcast guest this week, renowned author, speaker, and conservative Gen Z spokesperson Isabel Brown, has a similar message in her most recent book, The End of the Alphabet: How Gen Z Can Save America.  When asked about how she remains positive during our interview, she essentially said that it’s all about understanding our context. We will live in an unavoidable shit show until Christ returns. Sure, there are some times that are better than others, but all generations faced their fair share of challenges and setbacks. There is no creating heaven on Earth, despite how much the Communists try to convince us otherwise. 

 

If that is true, how do we fight to create good times? We have all heard the adage that strong men create good times. You may be thinking to yourself, “I want to be a strong man (or woman), so what do I do now, Nathan?” I’m so glad you asked. 

 

There are three things you can do to help create a better world. Well, there’s more than three, but I want to talk about three things here that most people avoid. Seeking Excellence is all about doing the hard things that most people run away from. We have a small audience here because most young Catholics would rather take the Socrates route of keeping their heads perpetually in the theological clouds than face the hard reality of the need to work out, budget, and the other practical demands of a good life. 

 

Action #1:  Fasting 

Last week, I was blessed to spend a few days in Winter Park, CO with my wife, son, and several of our friends who make up the team at West Coast Catholic. You truly can’t beat a little getaway with some amazing people. We spent a lot of time in the hot tub, sitting by the fire, or around the dinner table just having great conversations and dreaming about our individual and collective futures. 

 

Don’t judge us (I’ll explain more at another time), but we somehow landed on the topic of ‘fat priests’ during one of our late-night conversations. We bemoaned the fact that so many priests, lay Catholics, and Americans in general have become so unhealthy and overweight. We recounted stories about priests who had to sit to distribute Communion or who were unable to genuflect. We all had stories and examples to share, which was disheartening. Priests are representative of Christ on earth, which is harder to see when they are so overweight that they can hardly get around without assistance. Gluttony, though often ignored, is still one of the seven deadly sins. 

 

Perhaps the reason that it’s hard to see Jesus in an extremely obese priest is because Jesus preached and lived a life of prayer and fasting. The saints have reaffirmed the goodness of fasting throughout the ages as well: 

 

“For we fast for three purposes: (1) to restrain the desires of the flesh; (2) to raise the mind to contemplate sublime things; (3) to make satisfaction for our sins. These are good and noble things, and so fasting is virtuous.” 

-St. Thomas Aquinas

 

“Fasting cleanses the soul, raises the mind, subjects one’s flesh to the spirit, renders the heart contrite and humble, scatters the clouds of concupiscence, quenches the fire of lust, kindles the true light of chastity.”

-St. Augustine

 

We have largely abandoned the practice of fasting in the Church. It used to be common for people to fast and abstain from meat on every Friday throughout the year, along with many other days on the Liturgical calendar. We are still called to practice some type of fasting on Fridays, but most people forget to do so or simply choose not to. Fasting has incredible personal benefits when it comes to your journey to sainthood, but it also has larger cultural implications. 

 

In Mark 9, Jesus casts out a particularly strong demon out of a young boy. By this point, the disciples were accustomed to casting out demons in Jesus' name all by themselves. They had gotten used to exorcisms and healings by their own hands. This one, however, refused to leave the boy until Jesus came along. 

 

After he rebukes the demon and casts him out of the child, the disciples ask Jesus why they could not do so. He responds to them by saying, “This kind can go out by nothing, but by prayer and fasting” (emphasis added). 

 

In our culture today, we can easily see the immense progress made by satan and his minions. They have convinced many to abandon faith, truth, and reason. This has resulted in a society that knows not truth, beauty, or goodness. We have prayed for these spirits to leave our loved ones, our communities, and our country for long enough. It’s time we begin to embrace the wisdom of Mark 9:28 and bring forth the power combo of prayer and fasting to fight off this evil spirit plaguing our generation. 

 

Action #2:  Educate Yourself

 

Around ten months ago, Dave Ramsey conducted an onstage interview with Dr. Jordan Peterson at the Entreleadership Conference. There is a clip that has recently gotten more attention, where Peterson rebuked Ramsey’s statement that it’s often not worth engaging with people with vastly different beliefs and viewpoints on cultural and political topics. Peterson affirms that we should, in fact, engage with people who see things differently than we do. He goes so far as to imply that we have a moral obligation to be well-formed enough on important topics to be able to instruct and correct people in the way of truth and goodness. 

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