Seeking Excellence
Politics • Spirituality/Belief • Lifestyle
3 Things You Can Do To Help Save America
Ps. Most people don't want to do them
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Do you ever tire of the constant doomsday fear-mongering that happens in the political commentator space? I used to listen to the Daily Wire every day. I went from listening to Ben Shapiro to Matt Walsh and back to Ben. I loved getting Dave Rubin’s take on certain issues and I even have to admit with great shame that I used to enjoy listening to Steven Crowder. 

 

Over time, I got sick of the constant negativity. I was bored with the persistent anger, and sometimes borderline hatred, for those who held different opinions. Now, I can certainly get infuriated by the people who promote abortion or those of the LGBTQ community who prey on young, innocent children. There is undoubtedly a time and place for righteous anger. But I knew that dwelling on these things every afternoon was neither good for my mental nor spiritual health. 

 

I took a step back and I was lucky to find a new podcast to listen to:  The PBD Podcast. I love Patrick Bet-David. He’s an American-loving, capitalism-promoting, super-successful immigrant, Christian, Army veteran. It’s easy to see how he’s my kind of guy. PBD chose a motto for the year and has been putting it on merch all over his website. He came up with the tagline “The Future Looks Bright” to remind conservatives that we can still have hope for the days ahead. 

 

My podcast guest this week, renowned author, speaker, and conservative Gen Z spokesperson Isabel Brown, has a similar message in her most recent book, The End of the Alphabet: How Gen Z Can Save America.  When asked about how she remains positive during our interview, she essentially said that it’s all about understanding our context. We will live in an unavoidable shit show until Christ returns. Sure, there are some times that are better than others, but all generations faced their fair share of challenges and setbacks. There is no creating heaven on Earth, despite how much the Communists try to convince us otherwise. 

 

If that is true, how do we fight to create good times? We have all heard the adage that strong men create good times. You may be thinking to yourself, “I want to be a strong man (or woman), so what do I do now, Nathan?” I’m so glad you asked. 

 

There are three things you can do to help create a better world. Well, there’s more than three, but I want to talk about three things here that most people avoid. Seeking Excellence is all about doing the hard things that most people run away from. We have a small audience here because most young Catholics would rather take the Socrates route of keeping their heads perpetually in the theological clouds than face the hard reality of the need to work out, budget, and the other practical demands of a good life. 

 

Action #1:  Fasting 

Last week, I was blessed to spend a few days in Winter Park, CO with my wife, son, and several of our friends who make up the team at West Coast Catholic. You truly can’t beat a little getaway with some amazing people. We spent a lot of time in the hot tub, sitting by the fire, or around the dinner table just having great conversations and dreaming about our individual and collective futures. 

 

Don’t judge us (I’ll explain more at another time), but we somehow landed on the topic of ‘fat priests’ during one of our late-night conversations. We bemoaned the fact that so many priests, lay Catholics, and Americans in general have become so unhealthy and overweight. We recounted stories about priests who had to sit to distribute Communion or who were unable to genuflect. We all had stories and examples to share, which was disheartening. Priests are representative of Christ on earth, which is harder to see when they are so overweight that they can hardly get around without assistance. Gluttony, though often ignored, is still one of the seven deadly sins. 

 

Perhaps the reason that it’s hard to see Jesus in an extremely obese priest is because Jesus preached and lived a life of prayer and fasting. The saints have reaffirmed the goodness of fasting throughout the ages as well: 

 

“For we fast for three purposes: (1) to restrain the desires of the flesh; (2) to raise the mind to contemplate sublime things; (3) to make satisfaction for our sins. These are good and noble things, and so fasting is virtuous.” 

-St. Thomas Aquinas

 

“Fasting cleanses the soul, raises the mind, subjects one’s flesh to the spirit, renders the heart contrite and humble, scatters the clouds of concupiscence, quenches the fire of lust, kindles the true light of chastity.”

-St. Augustine

 

We have largely abandoned the practice of fasting in the Church. It used to be common for people to fast and abstain from meat on every Friday throughout the year, along with many other days on the Liturgical calendar. We are still called to practice some type of fasting on Fridays, but most people forget to do so or simply choose not to. Fasting has incredible personal benefits when it comes to your journey to sainthood, but it also has larger cultural implications. 

 

In Mark 9, Jesus casts out a particularly strong demon out of a young boy. By this point, the disciples were accustomed to casting out demons in Jesus' name all by themselves. They had gotten used to exorcisms and healings by their own hands. This one, however, refused to leave the boy until Jesus came along. 

 

After he rebukes the demon and casts him out of the child, the disciples ask Jesus why they could not do so. He responds to them by saying, “This kind can go out by nothing, but by prayer and fasting” (emphasis added). 

 

In our culture today, we can easily see the immense progress made by satan and his minions. They have convinced many to abandon faith, truth, and reason. This has resulted in a society that knows not truth, beauty, or goodness. We have prayed for these spirits to leave our loved ones, our communities, and our country for long enough. It’s time we begin to embrace the wisdom of Mark 9:28 and bring forth the power combo of prayer and fasting to fight off this evil spirit plaguing our generation. 

 

Action #2:  Educate Yourself

 

Around ten months ago, Dave Ramsey conducted an onstage interview with Dr. Jordan Peterson at the Entreleadership Conference. There is a clip that has recently gotten more attention, where Peterson rebuked Ramsey’s statement that it’s often not worth engaging with people with vastly different beliefs and viewpoints on cultural and political topics. Peterson affirms that we should, in fact, engage with people who see things differently than we do. He goes so far as to imply that we have a moral obligation to be well-formed enough on important topics to be able to instruct and correct people in the way of truth and goodness. 

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"My daughter was really offended by your talk last night."

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BE HOME this Christmas

Sometimes, we have to choose our children in the midst of chaos.

I find that one of the things my son values the most is when we are in a room full of people and I give him my undivided attention.

It doesn’t need to be for two hours. Even just 5-10 minutes playing with him on the floor when I have many other options means a lot to him.

Over this holiday break, we will have the choice to scroll on our phones, veg in front of the TV for hours on end, or to be present and active in the life of our family.

When you have time to be home, BE HOME and be present with your children. When you see they need some of your time or attention, do what you can to give it to them, even when you’re busy.

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Prioritize Active Recovery!

Should we just take the full month of December off??

A survey done about a decade ago found that 42% of employees find that December is the most stressful month of the year.

The combination of extra events, demands in personal life, peers taking extra vacation, and year-end deadlines make the most wonderful time of the year quite stressful for many of us.

We’re nearing the light at the end of the tunnel and my biggest goal is to make the most of these next couple of weeks.

I find that this time of the year is a crucial one for me each year. I’m tired from travel, parties, and doing fun things with the family. But I know that I set up much of my success for the new year during this time period.

Days like today tend to be really slow at work. Everyone is pretty much checked out and things are winding down as we enter the real Christmas season.

We’re going to have the next couple of weeks for making memories, enjoying family time, and of course, gift giving!

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Raising the Next Generation of Catholics

How do we raise kids who will continue practicing the faith as they grow up?

Well, I think one of the most important things is showing them that it actually matters to us.

You get to see a lot when you work in the Church. I have done a few different parish events for Hallow in Kansas City over the last month or so. One thing that blows my mind every time: the large number of people who leave mass early.

I was raised in a parish where this was unbelievably common. It was like half the church walked right out after receiving Communion. I had friends who did it in high school, but it never sat well with me.

Am I coming to get what I need and leave? Or am I coming to worship God as the Church commands me to?

Nothing creates consumer and cafeteria Catholicism like leaving mass early in my opinion. You come, get what you want/need, and leave on your own terms.

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Pursue Purpose, Don’t Reject It

So many people want to find deeper meaning in their lives. We have thousands of self-help gurus who will tell you that there are as many easy ways to find purpose and happiness in daily living.

Speak affirmations to yourself in the mirror.

Stop hanging with people who challenge you to be better; instead, pursue those who accept you as you are.

Believe that you are worthy of good things - that karma will have its day so long as you pursue the vague notion of becoming a “good person”.

These are all ideas that sound nice in theory, feel good in practice, and ultimately lead you right back to where you started. That is, of course, unless you are able to practice them with enough fervor that you can achieve self-delusion and narcissism.

For the rest of us, we have to find another path. I think the direction we need is found in this famous quote from Thomas Edison:

The same is true for purpose. Most people missed it because they think it’s something they can find on an inward-focused journey. They wrongly believe that purpose is something you find or that importance is something you are owed by the world.

This is why you will find young people online with immense levels of entitlement. People will call themselves kings and queens even though they lead no one. We like to crown ourselves with achievement and glory that we have not earned. And who can blame us when we were, as children, given trophies after our losses, which were the same size as those given to the victors?

I’m here to tell you the hard truth today: purpose is not something you find. It is something you create. Perhaps more accurately, it is something you embrace.

For most of us, purpose, fulfillment, and meaning are not some distant far off thing we must discover. Rather, they are constantly in the room with us, waiting us to choose the hard right over the easy wrong.

Do you want to know when I was most empty inside? It’s when I was 15 years old. I was smoking weed nearly every day, sometimes even before school. I quit the basketball team because I had gotten lazy and worse at the game. I was a habitual liar and used the people around me as I pleased.

Do you want to know when I’ve been the most fulfilled? It’s when I’ve been generous with my time and money. It’s when I’ve embraced responsibility in leading my family. It has come from taking ownership of my spiritual, mental, and physical health. It has come from striving for excellence in the workplace and rising in the weight and responsibility I bear on a daily basis.

My emptiness came from a hedonistic life focused exclusively on satisfying my own desires. Deep meaning and purpose have emerged from a life dedicated to serving God and others.

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There is one simple question we need to ask to transform our experience in this life. And that is, “how can I help?”

How can I add value here? How can I make someone else’s life and experience better? How can I make this world, this parish, this company, this family, etc., better?

When you pray with this question, your entire perspective begins to change. You no longer show up on Sundays just waiting to receive - from the homily, from the parish offerings, the free donuts. You now show up thinking - I should introduce myself to someone I haven’t seen here before. I should pick up that trash that has fallen to the ground. I should volunteer for that task for which they requested help during announcements.

The same is true in family life. Instead of plopping down on the couch after Thanksgiving dinner, you help wash the dishes. You volunteer to take your cousin to the airport for their early morning flight. You spend a few extra minutes with that great-aunt of yours who speaks somewhat incoherently - not because it pleases you, but because it means a lot to her.

Purpose is not something that is distant and needs to be discovered. It is right in front of you every day. It’s just that it’s dressed in overalls and looks a lot more like hard work than you imagined it would.

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Happy Halloween from the Seeking Excellence Team!

 

Happy Friday!


Are you ready to pursue excellence in all areas of your life? Welcome to Seeking Excellence, a place where ownership meets guidance. We want to empower you to take ownership of and relentlessly pursue your unique, God-given mission in life.


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What Is the Real Value of Stay-at-Home Moms?
Addressing the extremes of what society claims this vocation is worth

According to Investopedia, the real income of a stay-at-home parent exceeds $200,000. But is that based on reality? 

For context, my wife stays home full-time with our children. We are very pro-stay-at-home moms around here—that should already be well known. 

However, I am very opposed to skewing the numbers to make a financial point. The Investopedia article does precisely that. I have two significant issues with it. 

First, it’s simply dishonest (which I’ll explain in a moment) and therefore unhelpful for those trying to decide whether to have a parent stay home full-time.

The second issue is that the article is materialistic in nature, focusing primarily on a financial argument for a decision that is fundamentally human, formative, vocational, and, for many, spiritual. It prioritizes money over the two most valuable aspects of having a stay-at-home parent, both of which are priceless.

Let’s address the dishonesty first. As you can see in the screenshot below, the article accurately assigns national average costs to the general work done by a stay-at-home parent.

 

 

This part is true: that's what you'd pay individuals to do those tasks. The problem, though, is that only the top 1% of society actually hires people to do that work. My wife doesn’t save us money by doing our laundry, cooking our meals, cleaning the house, or driving the kids around.

Why? Because if we both worked, we wouldn’t pay anyone to do those things. In most dual-income households, people end up doing all that work ON TOP OF their full-time jobs. Full-time working and parenting is an absolute grind, there’s no doubt about it.

My wife does save us money on childcare, but it doesn’t come anywhere near $130k per year for two children, unless I were hiring private trilingual tutors at the highest end of the cost spectrum.

Some two-income households have family members watch their children or other arrangements that cost $1,000 a month or less, so the $130k price tag to cover 14 hours of childcare per day is just absurd.

Now, I understand why people do this. It’s an extreme reaction to society’s growing distaste for traditional family values. When the world rejects the value of motherhood, we try to amplify it using the one measure the world respects most: money.

But money isn’t the best way to measure the value of the stay-at-home parent lifestyle and their contribution to the family. My wife would be the first to tell you that the most valuable part is the extra time she gets to spend with our kids.

By the time our children are 5, Emily will have had almost an extra 10,000 hours with them that she'd otherwise have missed out on. That has a massive impact on their character formation, familial bond, and education.

What’s in it for me, the provider? Besides the satisfaction of those extra 10,000 hours for my wife and kids, it’s the massive increase in leisure time I get because someone is managing the home full-time.

No, this doesn't mean I never help out around the house. But I don’t have to split cooking meals, doing laundry, and many other chores because she handles the majority of them while I’m working.

Then, when I come home, I'm able to enjoy the meal she's prepared and take over the kids for a couple of hours before we tag-team bedtime. I get to play with the kids every evening instead of washing dishes or cleaning the house. It’s a win-win: she gets her much-needed break from the children, and I get my precious time with

them.

That said, becoming a one-income household is definitely a financial decision. The problem with Investopedia’s math is that it distorts the financial bar of entry. 

Most approach the financial

aspect of one parent leaving their job

through a simple equation:

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